Easily one of the most bad ass quotes ever.
we’re taking a group of people who have insider knowledge of the English language (or at least a good grasp of it) and placing them in a new, unfamiliar, virtual space. This space introduces visual aids to language in the form of photos and gifs, the ability to comment on someone else’s text in a reblog and the ability to communicate a lot of information in very few words using hashtags. We also see the creation of tone in a toneless medium. In order to simulate conversational patterns in writing we SHOUT WHEN WE’RE SUPER EXCITED or *psssst whisper when we’re pretending to tell someone a secret while perfectly aware that anyone on the internet can read what we’re saying.* slash the coolest bit tho is that u can like ironically forgo all capitalization and punctuation just write in a weird speech pattern its ok everyone will still understand maybe it even helps read the text more quickly because nothing is interrupting the flow of words
In short, this dialect results when people who already share a language are given new tools. The result isn’t a butchering of English language but a creative experiment with it. Am I claiming that the Internet as a whole is operating on a level of postmodernism that would make Joseph Heller, Kurt Vonnegut and Thomas Pynchon seem like novices? maybe i am maybe im not u punk wut of it like who r u to tell me otherwise
Tia Baheri: “Your Ability to Can Even: A Defense of Internet Linguistics" | The Toast
Totally worth reading the whole article, especially the part on Tumblr and gender.
"Well, when I was nine years old Star Trek came on, I looked at it and I went screaming through the house, 'Come here, mum, everybody, come quick, come quick, there's a black lady on television and she ain't no maid!' I knew right then and there I could be anything I wanted to be.”
— Whoopi Goldberg
This is such an interesting and terrifying point.
LMFAO Seriously? I can’t even get my thoughts together to express how many things are wrong with this.
Perhaps they don’t have service, or at least not enough to get the maps app to load properly. Perhaps they don’t even have a smartphone, because not everybody does, you classist fuck. Perhaps they’re just shit at reading maps, so they keep thinking they’re going the right way according to the map they pulled up, only to realize, no, that wasn’t it either. Perhaps they’re alone in their car and so they can only take quick glances at their phone so it’s really fucking hard to read their directions and they get lost anyway because they missed a step or didn’t realize that was their exit until they were past it.
Perhaps they don’t keep lists of shit to do on their phone. Perhaps they don’t have a hyper-developed “let me ask the internet!” reflex when confronted with the unknown. Perhaps they forgot to set a reminder for some important thing. Perhaps they were so sure they’d remember they didn’t bother to make a note of it. Perhaps, again, they don’t have signal. Perhaps they’re just shit at looking things up on the internet and give up in frustration after a moment or two.
Perhaps they don’t even do dating sites. Perhaps they just take their fucking phone with them while they’re out and about and meet people in other places, while carrying the phone, but not actively being on it. (Honestly, wtf was dating sites even doing on a list like this? Like they’re an intrinsic part of the smartphone user experience?)
Basically, perhaps you could engage your fucking imagination like a halfway decent writer and figure out how to work modernity into your plots, or at least shut the fuck up whining about how incompetent and ignorant you are, you fucking hack.
bolding mine because it’s embarrassing how lazy old male novelists are. young people are making plenty of modern fiction—there’s no excuse. also, is “they got lost” seriously your only plot point?
i have to reblog again though because i violated the Rule and looked in the comments and found the perfect rebuttal
What’s a “Galaxy 4”?